June 18, 2010

When Orkut came to Facebook

It's been quite some time since Indians ditched Orkut for Facebook. Unfortunately along with the people we would like to keep in contact with, came the trash that infested Orkut - the very reason we all left. The following is a good example. 

I was talking to a friend the other day who complained of a rather annoying conversation she was having on Facebook chat. I found it just mind blowingly awesome. 

Dylan: so wat u doin?

SinYORita~pearl': chatting
 with that freaking STALKER. CHECK THIS OUT
  
Kumar
hieeee ;);)

Me
hello

Kumar
so hwzzzz lyf..

thnkzzz for givin ur auspzzz time

;);)

Me
well..

i almost feel like calling u uncle

Kumar
hahahaahahaha

uncle!!!!!

Me
coz by the looks of ur profile image it appears to me ur  tons older than me.

Kumar
plzzzzzzzzzzzz

Me
i actually expected a young immature guy

Kumar
ohhhh plzzzz...

m abt 2 b 21

Me
about?
u look 31 to me

Kumar
ohhhh thankzzz
actualy i lik such wondrful comntzzz u know
31!!!!!
wht imagnatnzz!!!!!i lik it...

Me
really..

Kumar
ohhh yaaaa...really ;);)
was eagrly waitin waitin for such comntzzz
finalllllyy got it
so u r of 9 yrzzz i guess as per ur maturity......

Me
i gues so..

Kumar
hahahahahahahahahahaha
jokes apart let me tell u clearly
i likd u so was keen talkin 2 u...
n i know u r speakin all crapzz so tht i wont talk 2 u furthr....
plzzzzzzzz
dnt go for thozzz filmy type trickzz
Me
well thanks for all the trouble
but i didnt like u.
i dont even know u

Kumar
ohhhh ma pleasr...
no probzzz....but i did...
no probzzz....but i did...
no probzzz....but i did...
n u know me...
ths time on ma vacatnzzz will surely try 2 meet u

Me
err... we will see about that
Kumar
ohhhhh plzzzz no filmy dialogzzz plzzzzzz
Me
err
are u a crack head..
Kumar
madm crack head r visualisd only by thozz who similar .....
so u r tryin 2 tell me tht u r crack head??
Me
these are very lame and kiddish way to temp some one.
these dont work on me
Kumar
ohhhh plzzzz yaaar

r u a heep typezzz creature!!!!
tryin 2 over cast urself
tryin 2 over cast urself
cut the crap

okey naaa

Me
heep?
what kind of a word is that?

Dylan: wait wait i'm reading this awesomeness
!! is that it? is there more? this is AMAZING
SinYORita~pearl': yea theres more
 


Kumar
thzzz atitude
u r persuin english hnrzzz n askin me!!!
do n search dictrnry or 9th clas litretr buk
n itzzz nt a english test goin over here
n itzzz nt a english test goin over here
so plz dnt show ur stupidity plzzzzzz

Me
just cheked out
none such word exists.

Kumar
ohhh no......
i guesss u guyzzz dnt get admitd merit basis....
fraud cases....
;);)
Me
oh right.

Kumar
go through a b c d n thn go for ur course studiezzz
Me
show me a link to a dictionary page that ACTually has a meanng to this word
please be kind to enlghten
show me a link to a dictionary page that ACTually has a meanng to this word

Kumar
actualy i dnt hav a dictnry cozz m persuin b.com frm university of delhi....n tht aslo frm hansraj colg wich is nt a cup of tea for fraud people lik u....
;);)

Me
 yea i get it
u actually make me laugh
dude

Kumar
ohhhh madm plzzz cum out with thozzz bong people atitude
Me
were r u chating from?
Desktop?
laptop?
which erv u r using.. it allowes u to surf the web?
how lame can u be t say u dont have a dictionary wen u have the access to the bloody internet
Kumar
naaa .....itzzz the cantn of ma colg....
Mehavnt u ever heard of an online dictionary
have u heard of dictionary.com 
u use the canteen or watever to get online..
Kumar
laugh!!!!
Me
u use canteen to chat to peple and nt a comuter?
computer*
?
Kumar
laugh!!!!
ma frndzzz r getin mad here
Me
thats truely some kickass technology u got there dude.. it beats wi fi

Kumarone of thm r holdin the monitor n othr 1 is holdin the c.pu
hahahahahahawht????
ohhhh dnt ask bloody faclty in our colg....
Me
dude u r in a totally different league here. u have any idea how dumb u sound?
  Kumar
nt at alll
  
Me
  the last line was a killer!
i mean seriusly
  how retarded
  Kumar
  plzz let me know how dumb m!!!!!
plzzzzzzzz
  ohhhh me bong dialogues

u peophin new

n wht is comuter???
Me
god.. didnt anyone EVER teach u spellings in kinder garden? forget grammar.. that must be really tough for u.

Kumar
itzzz computer.....got it naa
ohhhh dil ki baat bol dii yaar
Me
computer*
THAT wa typo
was*
(my bad.. it seems ur cooked up English has got into me as well)

*<--- this is the spl character we use to corect typos.

get it.?
computer*
btw.. can u type without the letter 'z'? 

  Kumar
u r rite i hav never been 2 kindr gardn
u r rite i hav never been 2 kindr gardn
yaaar wht a shit r u!!!!

Kumar
ohhhh yesss i got it
Me
u did.?
wow

Kumar
thnkzzz for letin me know
Me
what did u get?
what did i tell u?

Kumar
itzzz hindi....kyun bhai i guesss urzz itzz english!!!!!!hahahahahahahaha
angrez chale gaye par teri jaisi bala ko yehi chod gaye!!!!!
angrez chale gaye par teri jaisi bala ko yehi chod gaye!!!!!
hahahahahah
Me
so basically say that ur aunt(ur mothers sister) is from bardhaman and ur mom is non bengali?
.
Me
hey i got a question for u.
whats ur favourite character from Dora the exploerer?
make up ur mind.. which do u think is more disastrous.. me being bong... or me knowing english.. i guess either way its hard for u to keep up.
hey i got a question for u.

Kumar yupppp u r ryt.... still qustn n answr seasn cntinuzzz!!!!!!!! 
Meso u didnt answer my q.. whats ur favorite character from Dora the explorer.? coz u dont seem to talk sensible in a two way conversation.. u are fit to be interogated. look at the brighter side.. u r being interviewd. only spl people are interviewed. people who r extraordinarily extraordinary
Kumar
plzzzzz fuck offff
jst fuck offffffffffffff
  
Me
'fuck off' is the last resort for a retard like u.. one who cant prolong in a sensible conversation and has no other means to sound learned utters those two words.. coz they r easy to spell and no grammar needed. perfect for u.



You deserve a medal if you understood that completely. Have a good day.

EDIT: Apparently the official word for these people is 'Orkuttiya'. 

9 comments:

  1. OMG that guy is getting such unnecessary publicity. I dont even think a museum can hold a total retard like that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is beautiful... A work of art ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sin you got eternal patience my lady.You actually tolerated him for this long? :P
    In any case Imma delete my Orkut after this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ah. Another evening of joblessness, I see... :)

    Nice. ^_^

    ReplyDelete
  5. AMAZING! LMAO! WAY TO GO SIN! THAT WAS PURE AWESOMENESS ON YOUR PART!

    IMO: "btw.. can u type without the letter 'z'? " <- BEST LINE!

    ReplyDelete
  6. dylan, i jst saw ur blog link on fb and visited to see whts goin on n found this !! ..ahahahhahaha..too good mad ..u shud share this on fb n digg n twitter ..its surely hit material!
    -allwyn

    ReplyDelete
  7. After reading this... I so glad I'm neither on Orkut nor on Facebook :D

    Yes, social networking scares me... it's more of a phobia for me and not the reason that this post gave. But now, I can show your post to guys who surf Facebook 14 hours a day.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @sam:i know.. i really wouldn't have bothered tolerating that creep for such a long time, had he not entertained me and Dylan.I mean, he should deserve some credit for his sheer Ignorance of his own stupidity.

    ReplyDelete

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